"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are-JOSEPH CAMPBELL"

Saturday, December 31, 2016

END 2016

2016 is the busiest year in my life (well for me) so many things happen and I want to store it on my blog but then I was so busy with college life. I quit form 6 and take diploma instead. How my life change after plkn. meeting new friends. Living far away from family FOR THE FIRST TIME! And of course homesick. breakup with friend and reconcile back *allhamdulillah. New love boy Lol

I want to share about plkn's life but not now. About my college life in poly penang. About being engineering student which I did not wish to be one but nah allah have a better plan for me. all way for 2017. Now that Ive my own laptop I think it easier to update my blog. so yeahh bye 2016! wish to become more feminine and more closer to allah insyallah. and of course 3.0 above for sem 2!

bye. anyeong.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Happy Baekhyunie Birthday!!

Our cute squirrel! 

Anyeong! As some of you know I'm currently on my duty for National Service (plkn). It might be weird for you to see this update since how the hell I'm updating my blog? Lol The current date is actually 25/03/16. yes I'm going to enlist tomorrow TT-TT *slap my face*

Okay what ever. Now to the main point! Today is our forever my favorite vocal *beside kyungsoo* Baekhyun birthday!! yeayyy! *fire works* You're old now. I didn't have special gift for you but I'm actually glad to meet you! yeah! 12/3/16 marked our first meeting. Our first eye contact and for sure I'll remember when you giving flying kiss freaking in front of my eyes! I was actually chasing you and kyungsoo during playboy. Nasib baik amik rock E.


I actually like you first. umm or not. Hahaha. actually I was confuse whether to like you or sehun or kyungsoo. I want to say that you're my bias in exo but there's a lot of people around me that like you TT.TT So at the end I chose my very first bias in exo. yes your best friend park chanyeol! ahaha I even make special entry just for his birthday on my old blog! See how much I like him during that time, not until I kept watching your video. I don't know why. But I really like your personality. When I'm watching Exo showtime I was like omg! Why this boy so cute and cheeky at the same time! But then your scandal news came out. I might say I sad of course although I still 'chanyeol-fan' but I kept saying to my self is okay. taeyeon is pretty too. So I gamble to myself If your breakup news out I will declare my love for you. And yes. Not even a day I change my twitter username from LadyChanyeol to LadyyBaekhyun. Instagram too from iekachann to mrs.byunn. See how much I like you? Even when I like chanyeol and myungsoo back then I only have about 70-100+ picture. but you almost 500+ and all of them in HQ from your fanbase/fansite. homaigod I'm proud Aeri!

#Exo'Luxion In Malaysia! 

I want to met you again in Seoul concert. Because hell you are so talkative! I want to learn korea so that I can comment on your Ig with you understand every single words that I write. You give me so much inspiration. I don't care how much salty people talk bad about you because I know you love us maybe not unconditionally but eternally. lol how cheesy I am? because of you!


And please! don't strip for your next concert! ahahahah! I love the way how you communicate with fans. You really like appa scolding his children when Exo-L ask you to strip! I still want to hear you laugh thoo. So beautiful. your voice really calm me. Oppa! good luck for your drama! I'm sure you're the most cutest prince among other prince since you're so small beside them! I'll watch it! for sure! Love you oppa! let's meet again!

In love with your smile!

ahh I need to continue packing my stuff. Oh by the way today is Umin hyung birthday! *idk why I love calling him umin hyung* happy birthday oppa!  #All pic are not mine.


Little B

Sunday, April 10, 2016


Anyeong! yes I'm still on my duty for NS (plkn). Today date is actually 26/3/16 yes! its Xiumin birthday today and also 600Days with Exo-L!! Today entry is actually too celebrate 3 event!  Because I'll discharged on 24/5/16 yeah I missed a lot of important event! That's why I'm writing my blog at 6.27AM another 2 hour and I'll leaving my home TT-TT

Okay now let's start! 4 years with EXO! yoohoo! it's already 4 years since their debut. Omgg time passed by quickly. They debut on 8 April 2012. It actually 2 days before my birthday :). That's why I'm proud! To say that I followed them since their debut it's actually lie. No I'm not Exotic at that time or Exo-L. I'm INSPIRIT. my bias is myungsoo :))) I don't hate them, bcs I actually stan shinee first when I enter kpop world. So basically I'm SM stand! So yeah at that time people were busy to follow their teaser to present one by one members. And you know what? I didn;t follow it *bapakk menyesal gilaa!* rookie group that I stan at that time is B.A.P and BTOB and yes although I'm more to inspirit but I'm multifandom. I listen to all kpop song at that time.

How I can become Exo-L? well this is where I stop spazzing about Infinite for a while. No I'm not hating on infinite! never! I still followed their news thoo! it actually on 2013 where I have PMR. Infinite start to announce their world tour for OGS and Malaysia is include on their world tour list TT-TT I don't have money and my mom don;t allow me to meet them nor welcome them from airport TTwTT I was actually depress and can't stop crying because I can't met them. So I distract myself with staning for exo. They are hot topic during that time. They just comeback with 12 members :'( with wolf and growl. Surprisingly I enjoy all their song! So I start to like them and can't stop search about them. yes I have a hard time to recognize their face. But I know them quite fast for a group who have more than 10 members.

But what I'm actually glad is I stand them from 12 to 9. it's sad of course. thinking to leaving fandom never cross my mind. Because I think this is first time I like only one group. Still remember when Exo announce their first ever variety show with OT12. EXO SHOWTIME! where we Exo-L waiting for every Thursday just to watch their variety show with raw if we can't wait it to be sub. And we start to know exo's subber. which my fav is the mongs. I remember that time where we proud of our babies when we winning Album of the year for the first time during MAMA 2013. And when Kyungsoo first role on movie! from then start exo life as actor from Kyungsoo to sehun :)))

I actually post this on EXO site. 1000 Days with exo

I don;t know what to say more. All I want to say is I'm proud of them. And I'll be Exo-L that will stand them even with 1 member left. Happy 4th Anniversary sayang!! Always remember to rest, don't overwork! get healthy food! kept loving your members!

Last but no least Happy birthday our maknae Sehun! 12/4/94 your birthday is just 2 days after my birthday. I'm proud to be in between 2 important date. So happy birthday for me too!

Aegy ah! don't worry You still number 3 on my bias list!

Good luck for your movie! Don't get hurt!

#Pic are not mine

Monday, February 8, 2016


بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِي

Assalamualaikum. Alhamdulillah I've graduate from school on december 2 2015. Mark my last paper of LK (engineering drawing ). And finally I will not wear my school uniform nor being a school prefect. As form 5 student the feel to graduate is so much. we have a mix feeling, sad, happy, excited and so on. Me and my friends have plan so much things to do for our after-SPM activities. but little did we know that allah have something plan ahead. 


It was our mod-math papers. good things we all got to answer all the question without any stress.

 *you know what? screw my english plan* 

Petang tu ustazah ada buat extra class for paper pai esoknya. sebab math habis awal kelas pun habis awal lah. usually if ibu tak jemput me and shidah will go back by walk. at that time hujan but not so heavy. because I tumpang shidah (ayah shidah tumpang kan separuh jalan) I balik rumah dia. about 1 hour after that, I went home with my mom. 

Balik je check phone tengok ws. my friends have been asking to pray for azira because she still unconscious. I thought that it was a joke. good things I didn't replay with a sense of humor. I ask farhani first. That when I know that azira had an accident. it was only minor accident. but because she still have fever and there is blood coming out from her ears, I think that cause the injury to get worse. I pray so hard. we even did solat hajat. that night azira was sent to HTJ seremban. ayu who was there from very beginning told us that she is in critical condition. I asked all my family members to pray for her. I know she is strong. Then it hit me. I start to imagine that she is dead. and my sister had told me to calm down then when I start to cry harder. You know the day after is our pendidikan islam papers, but we are seriously distract. 


That morning we came with puffy eyes. No one really talks. we busy reading for the upcoming papers. but I know everyone is in sensitive mood. when my homeroom teacher came she asked of to focus on our papers and smile. syiqin is just beside me ( and syiqin is like baby) then syiqin start to cry. We try not to but we cry again. Kau tak tahu perasaan bila kau masuk dewan meja dia kosong. then bila pengawas tu cakap pasal zira most girls in my class cry. 

alhamdulillah paper hari tu habis awal. Turun je nak pergi surau ( we agree to do solat hajat ) cikgu dollah cakap dia bawak shidah ayu alea and ammar pergi lawat zira kat seremban. So we start to plan something crazy. we decide to go there by bus and when we arrive at term ayah farhani jemput and hantar ke hospital. It was last minute planning. We are broke. so we sacrifice our money. I pay for ticket bus. Thanks godness I remember aiman and syiqin ask him to came along. 

We arrive at HTJ at 3 o'clock. Sampai je nampak budak-budak ni yang naik dengan cikgu dollah. We can't go in yet because we still wearing our school uniform. I was afraid if we didn't get to visit her. But then the jaga told us to come back at 4:30 I think. I'm not remember. So to kill the time we eat first. Then we got to meet her, other come with iqbal so basically almost everyone in our class come only 6 didn't. And suddenly the surrounding turns gloomy. Yes we got to see her. But we didn't know we will see her in  that state. Mai already crying. And I can;t bear anymore and start crying with syiqin. Her life is depending on machine.

Cikgu dollah suruh baca al-fatihah kat telinga dia kemudian selawat tapi dengan syarat, jangan nangis nanti dia stress. So I was trying hard to stop my tears. I did what cikgu told us to do and I talked to her. The most things that make me want to cry is she actually crying. Her tears cannot stop falling. Everyone was whisper to her to wake up, we miss you. some of us even make a promise. Not all of us talked to her since some of us still crying. 

The moment when we saw her mother we cannot stop our tears. Her mom looks so weak with eye bags around her eyes. We just want to hug her mom. Aiman, her love one. Just watching from far. I know he still can't believe this happen to her.


Thanks to allah, our spm gap is long. We got to rest for 5 days. We come to school as usual since we have our extra class for addmath. Not everyone was coming. Our assembly start with recite surah yassin for her of course. I was desperate, I force my junior who can read to recite surah yassin. And yes we cried again while recite surah yassin.

At class my teacher open radio for us. So we solve our addmath question while listening to the song. Our mood not as bad like yesterday. We tried to think positively. So we have lil joke to laugh at. But somehow the radio ruining our mood. All the song that was played is all the sad song. Serious rasa nak campak radio tu. Masa sibuk jawab soalan shidah dapat wassap from her friend, it was a doa. Doa for people who comatose, We planning to visit her again that day and so we were feeling excited and start to hafal the doa.

We continued our class at evening, I still remember. The time is 3.05, syiqin receive a call from ayu. I start feeling scared. And suddenly we stop our discussion because we hearing syiqin voice. She was crying, That when she told us azira dah takde. shock, sad all mix feeling. First time I'm crying. Nangis terduduk aku. Cikgu terus stop kan kelas and we all decide to visit ayu since ayu is her bestfriend. Dalam masa tu terdengar lah conversation sur dengan ayah dia. Suria yang hati keras batu menangis. I call my mom to tell her but nothing coming out from my mouth. Just sobbing. My mom scolded me for crying, she said azira tak suka.

At night, jenaza sampai rumah dia. All form 5 and some form 4 student, come and recite surah yassin together. Ya allah masa tu hanya tuhan yang tahu perasaan kiteorang. bersih je muka dia. When I kiss her, ya allah. sejuk je dia.

Malam tu tiba-tiba rasa nak pergi bilik dia. We check all her note books to read some of her stupid quote. Azira suka design baju, So she will design some dress and show to me since we both love fashion. Some time I crack a joke saying I'll be top designer not her. Sometime when she design some dress for me I will tell her its ugly but we know its all joke. We found some present that was not open yet. So we assume it was for ayu. She didn't get to give it to ayu. It was so sad. There is picture album in her study desk. She said to aiman that she will stored all of their picture together in that album but somehow she didn't get a chance to do that.

Kiteorang ada cakap-cakap dengan mak dia. We told her mom. Kalau boleh simpan lah barang-barang dia, Mak suruh kiteorang amik barang-barang dia bagi kawan-kawan,


Esok tu bangun dengan perasaan yang tak boleh dirungkai. We seat at her room since there's a lot of people coming. We give aiman one of zira shawl. We recite surah yassin. Masa jenazah nak dikapan kan masa tu all of my classmate cry. Masa tu kau dah tak fikir dah musuh kau ke kawan kau. sebab masa tu we all the same. we cried for our friend. We kiss her for the last time. I cannot hold my tears, shidah terus peluk. And so dia kebumi sebelah kubur uwan dia je. See how much she miss her grandma :')

Dear girl. I hope we will meet again in jannah. semoga kau berada di kalangan orang beriman.


24.8.1998 - 18.11.2015